October Reflections
Sovereignty, Frequency, and the Spiral Path.
This month has been a journey. Spelunking ever deeper into my canyon’s depths, I’ve encountered many truths. Following the heightened energy of the Lion’s Gate, I was sent into the darkness anew...and I’ve realized that this is all a part of the cycle of living the spiral path. Each season imparts its wisdom, and we each have a choice of how we will respond to what comes...but we cannot choose what comes. Not directly. Not in the way one might choose tea over coffee or boots over shoes. The truth remains that we must sustain and prepare ourselves how we see fit.
The Lion’s Gate was powerful and abundant. Full of the energy of action. Eclipse season has been its counterpart. Still powerful and abundant, but in a more quiet way. The energy of presence without performance. Witnessing without judgement. Observing what wishes to emerge from the dark corners into the light and giving myself the space and grace to do so. It was painful, but necessary.
No matter how healed or whole this version of me may be, there are still pieces of me frozen in time who stopped breathing. Young women and little girls misunderstood, shamed, abused, holding their grief and anger so tightly they cannot do anything else. I see now that I must go to each of them. I must hold them and hear them...and ultimately show them that they are healed and whole. They are not broken or stupid. They are not imagining things. Greatest of all, I must show them that they are loved beyond measure. Always have been and always will be. I have a lot of work to do, and that work is sovereign presence.
The veil has felt nonexistent to me for some time now. Yet, I feel the worlds becoming closer still as we near the portal of 11/1. Last year on that day, I began my Reiki practitioner journey. Level 1. When Isha asked me why I joined the class, I said I was doing as I was told. It was the truest answer. Almost one year later, it still is. It is not for me to mold into shapes or forms...to say how I am going to ‘use’ my knowledge in the way one might choose a career. Reiki isn’t about that for me. Practicing Reiki is about remembering the loving force present in all things...remembering that I am a vessel and anchor...a bridge at the threshold. However that shapes and whatever it looks like isn’t up to me to decide. All I can do is live my life in a way that honors the light and upholds harmony.
I already feel that I am in sacred ceremony. These next few weeks as I approach my Master attunement on 11/1, I feel a solemnity that mirrors my preparation for the Ayahuasca Retreat in November of 2022. I feel the call to purge all that no longer serves me and reset my body and mind. I see how far I’ve come and know that the journey isn’t over. The journey is never over.
Someone I once walked beside—whose words often cloaked distortion in the guise of mastery—once told our “tribe” that Reiki is like hosing off a car in the driveway, compared to the full-detail healing work she offered. Her words gave me pause. At the time, I said nothing, though part of me wished I had spoken. In truth, I now see that silence was sovereignty. The message would not have been received, and words were not the medicine. Frequency was.
It used to be difficult to stay attuned to the truest frequency. It felt like madness. Now I know that it only felt that way because I wasn’t accustomed to truth. We are conditioned to abandon it to live in the world the way the false systems and structures insist upon. The belief that if something cannot be measured or verified in black and white, then it cannot be real. A system that calls our beliefs madness if they do not align with the approved consensus. Somewhere deep inside, we each hold the truth. We are gaslit from the very beginning. This dissonance is the root of suffering. We must return to center until we realize we never left. Until we remember that wholeness is something we can never be separated from.
Reiki has been a part of my journey for lifetimes. It was a practice before it even had a name or structure. I’ve touched it throughout my life without even knowing what it was. A moment in time keeps coming back to me. I was the swing shift med tech in a small memory care. The residents had just finished dinner and were getting restless as the caregivers assisted the highest acuity residents to bed. The energy of the room felt like chaos. There was a din that seemed to come from all directions as each being in the room reacted to it. My razor sharp focus on the task of passing meds deepened into something more vast. It felt like a bubble of peace and calm, but sharper somehow. The urgency to get my tasks done evaporated into the stillness. I took a deep breath as a long, steady ‘Om’ emanated from my throat. The energy I felt carried itself in waves that filled the room. There was a collective sigh followed by a sensation that felt like walking into an ancient temple. Serene. Expansive. I had forgotten that there was a family member in the room assisting someone to eat. Our eyes met and she said, “Thank you.” I’m not sure I would even remember this had I not been witnessed.
That was Reiki. That was love remembering itself...if only for one moment.
I just looked up from my screen to witness soft, heavy drizzle illuminated by the sun. I smiled as I witnessed it...and as soon as I did, it was gone. Was it drizzle or something else? I suppose I’ll never know, and I don’t need to. It was beautiful.
That is the magic of witnessing. Creating space to notice these little things as they arise. Spirit is subtle...until you notice. Until you allow yourself to know without question that you are witnessing the divine. Divinity lives in all things, after all.
I think I am ready now to offer distance Reiki sessions. If you feel called, I am here. May we always remember our light together.